Decadence, Lunch Dates, and Crio Bru.

The past week or so has been rough.  I have been tired.  Really tired.  Between packing, moving, unpacking, organizing, work, and very little sleep... I am just tired.

This morning was the worst.  I got up a little early, but I couldn't drag myself out of bed.  It took me forever to get ready because I was so exhausted.  I got to work 5 minutes early.  I accomplished the things that I needed to accomplish.  I asked my boss to fix something for me and as he was fixing what needed to be fixed I dozed off in my chair.  Sitting straight up.  I am tired.

Because I am so tired I have also been irritable.  Which annoys me probably almost as much as it annoys everyone around me.

So I sent my dear friend Carissa a text that said, "Today I think it's necessary to visit Decadence and buy myself a massive Crio Bru latte."

Long story short, we met at Decadence on 1600 North in Orem.  {Best friends leave work even when they planned on skipping their lunch that day to meet a friend in need of a pick-me-up.}

{Photo taken from a Google image search of Decadence Utah}

Decadence is charming.  It is a small artisan cafe that has a drive-thru.  It has a few outdoor bistro sets and some seating inside as well.  Decadence serves pastries, sandwiches, ice cream, and most importantly, Crio Bru.  You can learn more about Decadence here.

Through Decadence I discovered Crio Bru.  If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook you are sure to have heard about my obsession with Crio.  I love it. 

{Photo taken from a Google image searf of Crio Bru}

What is Crio Bru?  "Crio Brü is a brewed drink made from 100% premium cocoa beans, roasted to perfection. Named after the most prized of cacao beans, the Criollo, Crio Brü will astound your taste buds with its complex flavors and subtle aromas which come right from the cocoa bean itself! It is 100% natural and 100% pure."  {This is information that is found on their website.}

Basically it is cocoa beans roasted the same way that one would roast coffee beans.  You can brew it like coffee, you can french press it like coffee, you can use it as a replacement for espresso in lattes.  It is delicious.  It is chocolately and light and a tad bitter if left unsweetened.  And it is good for you!

Benefits of Crio Bru:  {Information taken from their website.}

• Boost Your Immune System
• Increase Energy Naturally
• Curb Your Appetite and Lose Weight
• Support Your Heart, Digestive System, Brain and Bones
• Oxygenate the Blood and Maintain Healthy Blood Sugar Levels
• Feel Great, Increase Focus, Reduce Stress, and Sleep Better

Um, those are really great benefits.  And on top of that, it just tastes amazing.

Let me tell you the way that I enjoy my Crio Bru at home:  I purchase the ground beans from Macey's in Pleasant Grove.  I follow their instructions for French Pressing the bru.  I either drink it hot with a dash of International Delight's Cold Stone Creamery Sweet Cream coffee creamer, or I pour it over ice and add a dash of International Delight's Cold Stone Creamery Sweet Cream coffee creamer.  Both ways are SO GOOD.  I have tried other flavors to sweeten my Crio Bru, but I always come back to the Cold Stone Sweet Cream because it is beyond delicious.

Even Kyle and Ayla love it.  Ayla gets her own little mug.  She always wants it hot - never iced.  She practically does cartwheels when she finds out that we're making Crio Bru because she really, really loves it.  Kyle drinks it before he plays basketball on Tuesday nights and it gives him more energy and more stamina.  It's such a noticeable difference that he's bummed when he doesn't get Crio before basketball.

And yeah, it tastes delicious.  You really should visit their website and read more about the perfection that is Crio Bru.  {I have not been asked to do share this info and I am not being paid to do so, I just really love it.}

Anyway... Back to my rendezvous with the little bird, Carissa.  We met at Decadence and we ordered our drinks.  Carissa had a house bru with a little cream, vanilla, and whipped cream on top.  I had a 16 oz. Caramel Macchiato, iced.  We both had sweet orange rolls.  Holy goodness.  Those rolls, warmed up, will change your life.  {I didn't get a picture of the rolls because we downed them in no-time.}  Our drinks were delightful.  The space where we enjoyed our drinks was cozy and beautifully decorated.  The service at Decadence is fine, but I will warn you - it is not a place that you can drop by quickly.  I waited a good 15 minutes for my Caramel Macchiato.  The girl actually helped other customers after me before even starting my drink.  By the time I got my drink I had to just walk out the door, I didn't get to sit and enjoy it.  Even the drive-thru is not a quick experience.  HOWEVER, do not let that deter you.  It is so worth it.  And really, show me someone who doesn't need the time to sit and relax for a while and I will show you a liar.  We are so used to fast, fast, fast.  Sometimes it is nice to slow down.  Just not on a quick lunch break with a friend.

Decadence {An Artisan Cafe}

Friend.

Iced Caramel Macchiato.  House Bru.

I so enjoy my lunches with my friend.  Remember when I posted way back here and I said that they probably wouldn't happen as frequently as we had discussed?  I am pleased to say that they are happening.  It goes to show that young, irresponsible, flighty girls can grow up to be successful, busy working women who can find time to keep dates with their friends.  We are learning to prioritize. 

I like it.

"Don't mind my obnoxious nails."  She says.  I throw mine down.  #obnoxiousbirds

A Friend in Need.

My mom had a pen pal many years ago named Yvonne.  Our family was able to make the trip to Wyoming in 1997 and meet Yvonne and her family.  I don't remember every detail of that trip, but I do remember a lot.  And I loved it.  I even still have a few pictures tucked into my childhood photo album from this trip.  Pictures of me with Yvonne's girls, Tandy and Kendra.

I recently became friends with Yvonne and Tandy on Facebook.  I haven't spoken to either of them since 1997, and actually I haven't made any contact with them now, either.  I just clicked "Add Friend."

Through these recent friendships on Facebook I have learned that Yvonne's daughter Kendra is facing a heart-breaking battle.  The battle for her unborn daughter's life.  "Kendra is 37 weeks pregnant and this past week found out that the precious baby she is carrying has a severe Ebsteins Anomoly, essentially the right atrium in the baby's heart is taking up the majority of her chest cavity and is compressing the lungs. Baby "C" as they call her has an extremely small chance of survival through childbirth."  {This information was taken from her donation page.} You can read her story here.

My heart is aching for Kendra and her family.  Though I don't know Kendra, I know that she is a wife and she is a mommy, just like me.  She is a woman who only has the option to be strong when being strong seems next to impossible.

I am amazed by her courage.  Her writing is so honest and so beautiful.

While I cannot offer much in the way of help or support for Kendra, I can offer prayers.  I can share her story in hopes that others will offer their prayers to Kendra and her family.  I have faith that our prayers will be heard and they will be answered.  Pray that Kendra, her husband, their two children, and their sweet baby Capri will have angels surrounding them, lifting them up while they climb this mountain.



The financial stress of such a fight can be overwhelming.  If you would like to offer monetary support for this sweet family you can do so by donating here.

Imaginary Friends and Lemonade Stands.

Did you have imaginary friends?  I'm not sure that I ever had a legitimate imaginary friend.  At least, I don't remember having any.  However, I had brothers.  And I lived in neighborhoods full of kids to play with.

Ayla is an only child.  Ayla spends most of her time with mom and dad.  She gets to see cousins on the weekends, but during the week she is generally stuck with us.  Well, us and Hildegard and Amber and Kelsi.  And her cats Ginger and Tito.  And her dogs Shasta and Zeek.  All of these imaginary.

This child's brain blows my mind.  She is so intelligent.  She understand so much.  She uses her imagination!  Like crazy!  I am often having to pet a kitty or hold an item that is not there.  I take bites of imaginary cake and I sip on imaginary drinks.  I get text messages from my husband that go like this:

Dang it Hildegard, would you please stop calling?  And these phones conversations?  They are classic, I tell you.  Complete with arguments and big sighs.  There are a lot of "okay, okay, yes.  Mhmm."  Hildegard must have a lot to say.

It really is amusing.  And I kind of love it.  Although it can be frustrating when we are getting out of the car and Ayla is having trouble deciding which friends are going to come in and which will stay behind.  "Tito, you stay here.  I'll be riiiiiight back."  And heaven forbid you close the door before Hildegard gets out of the car.  Holy meltdown, Batman.

If you haven't notice, Hildegard is her favorite and very best imaginary friend.  Here is a photo of my cute Ayla and Hildegard.  She has her arm around her, of course.  {When taking this picture I was a little scared to look at the camera afterwards because I didn't want to see a ghostly little girl with a straight face standing next to my child.  I watch too many paranormal shows.}

Ayla and Hildegard.

Here's a little background on where Ayla came up with the names of her imaginary friends.

Hildegard- She is a princess on the Disney Junior show Sofia the First.

Amber-  Also a princess on the Disney Junior show Sofia the First.

Kelsi-  I'm not sure where that one came from.

Tito {cat}-  The name of aunt and uncle's cat.

Ginger {cat}-  I'm not sure, but Uncle Jerry has a dog named Ginger.

Shasta {dog}-  The name of aunt and uncle's dog.

Zeek {dog}-  The name of a dog that lives up the street.

These are not her only imaginary friends, I have heard a few other names dropped.  And let's not forget about her other mom, Cherry.  Well, that's actually her aunt Charity who Ayla sweetly calls "Cherry".  {You will generally see me refer to her as "Cherry" in all of my posts!}  Ayla talks to Cherry a lot, as well.  She'll say to me, "My mom told me I could!"  And I say, "I am your mom, crazy girl!"  She says, "No, my other mom, Cherry!"

This is such a fun stage.  I love watching my girl and listening to the silly things that she comes up with.  Isn't it amazing watching your baby grow into a child?  Where has time gone?  I can so clearly remember my childhood...

One thing that I remember is lemonade stands.  What kid doesn't want to sell lemonade on the street and earn some extra cash for candy?  Well, I remember doing things like painting rocks and selling them to the sweet older couples on the street.  {Really, they would pay for a painted rock.}

I've seen quite a few lemonade stands recently and every time I see one I smile.  These kids are so dang cute!  Every chance I get you better believe that I pull over and hand over my quarter.  What could brighten up your day quicker than the massive smiles and yells that these kids exchange when they realize that they have a paying customer?

I have the best story about a lemonade stand in my hometown of Stanwood, Washington.  My friend and I were driving along some back roads and there were some kids sitting at a small table with some hand drawn signs advertising lemonade.  Of course I stopped.  The excited kids quickly poured me a cup of lemonade.  It was a red solo cup.  My friend asked for one as well and they filled up a cup for her.  We started to walk back to our car when they said, "Can you finish and give us back the cups?  They are the only ones we have."  We about died laughing.  I mean, I couldn't even breathe.  I gulped down my juice and handed my cup over.  She couldn't even finish hers she was laughing so hard.  These kids looked so confused.  We laughed all the way home wondering how many other people had already sipped from those two cups.

Lemonade stands are getting pretty fancy these days.  {No cup sharing!}  We have one right down the street.  This is a weekly stand where they seem to get great business.  Not only do they sell sparkling grape lemonade {hello, YUM!}, but they also offer freshly baked chocolate chip cookies and bags of popcorn.  Ayla gets to take her dollar down the street and come home with one of each.  I love this.

Check out this insanely fancy stand.  And they have a working cash register!

Summertime is beautiful.  Experiencing summertime through the eyes of a child {and her imaginary friends} all over again is even more beautiful.

Ladies who Lunch, Live Music, and a Really Great Day.

Yesterday was a good day.

Work was good.  Work is always good.  {tangent} I am so incredibly grateful for my job and all of the sh*tty things that happened that led me here.  Sometimes I need to pinch myself so I know that yes, this is real life.  I do work here and they do appreciate me and they give me so much respect and they treat me like I'm awesome and even if I don't always feel awesome I really love that they say that I am.  They spoil me.  They know that I am capable.  They are wonderful.  This whole "we love you and love what you do" thing hasn't happened for me in years of employment.  Thank goodness for this job. {end of tangent.}


Lunch was great.  Carissa and I met at our spot in the park.  The spot below the tree, just south east of the jungle gym.  The spot that is half shaded and half sunlit so that we can adjust our place on the Rapuzel blanket so that we're always comfortable.  The spot in the park that is halfway between her place of work and my place of work.  We bring our own lunch and we chat.  As always, we chat about our loves, our lives, our jobs, and our books.  Yesterday we talked about loss.  We shared tragic stories that didn't involve us directly, but involved those that we know.  We  spoke about the fragility of life and how paralyzing it is to truly think about how temporary our time here on earth really is.  I walked away feeling sad.  I felt sad because of the situations we discussed, but I felt recharged.  That little recharge that I mentioned back here.  The recharge you get from connecting with your best friend.

I didn't have time to pack a real lunch so I improvised.

First things first.  The shoes come off.

I adore this little bird.

When I returned from lunch I had 4 tickets waiting on my desk for me.  These tickets were for the Guster, Ben Folds Five, and Barenaked Ladies show that night!  They were a gift from our marketing company.  A fantastic gift!  I absolutely love Ben Folds Five, and though I rarely listen to Barenaked Ladies, I like them a lot.  I saw them years ago at the White River Amphitheatre in Washington and they put on the best show!  Not only do they have catchy tunes and plenty of talent, they are hilarious.  If you ever get the opportunity to see the Barenaked Ladies perform, whether you are a fan or not, TAKE IT!  You will not regret it.

I decided then and there that even though it was so last minute, I was going!  I decided that I was taking my baby girl with me.  I would have loved to bring Kyle, but you know, game 7 of the NBA series...  I posted the other 2 free tickets that I had on Facebook and didn't get any bites.  On my drive home from work to grab my girl and head north it occured to me that I should call my aunt Marilyn.  She loves the Barenaked Ladies!  She loves to go to concerts!  She lives near by!  As luck would have it, Marilyn was able to join us.  So last minute!  This was very spontaneous and I loved it.

I was so excited to spend some time with Ayla.  Working full-time I feel that I am lacking in the "quality time" department.  I miss my little girl.  One of the things that I miss the most is driving in the car with her.  Just us two.  I know, that seems silly.  Why would I miss a car ride?  Let me tell you.  Ayla is fun in the car.  Ayla loves music.  Ayla loves to sing.  In the car Ayla and I rock out.  We turn the music up loud.  We sing at the top of our lungs.  We dance.  We have a lot of fun.  I popped in the Lilo and Stitch soundtrack and Ayla about had a heart attack.  She screeched, "LILO AND STITCH! MOM, I DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THIS SONG!"  She, of course, did remember the song.  She sang the Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride song over and over.  Then she said, "Can we listen to The King, mom?"  Elvis.  You bet we can listen to Elvis.  That's mah girl!

We stopped at Sonic and to grab some dinner.  Really I just wanted a dirty diet coke and Ayla wanted a watermelon slush.  We decided to grab a dollar item to eat.  Worst decision ever.  Sonic is great for drinks, not so much for food.  Long story short, we waited for 30 minutes while they messed up our order and forgot about us.  I had to march in to the kitchen and ask for my money back.  Whatevs.  We got free food and we took off.  Ayla was asleep 2 minutes after we were on the freeway.

Generally I would be bugged by having to show up late.  I don't like that.  I want to see all of the bands.  I want to experience the entire thing, start to finish.  But last night, meh.  I was happy to show up as Guster was ending their set.  This meant we didn't have to sit as long with a three-year-old.  This was her first experience at a music show and I wasn't sure how she would do.  Turns out that she is her mother's daughter.  She did awesome.  {Once she fully woke up.  All that took was a bag of cotton candy.}

It was fun to catch up a bit with Aunt Marilyn.  Ayla was SO happy that she was there!  Even when Marilyn left us for a while to run to the restroom Ayla said, "Mom, can Aunt Marilyn come back now?"

Ben Folds was amazing.  Just like I expected him to be.  Here's a small clip of the song "Brick".  Plus there's a bonus of Ayla meowing like a kitty at the end.  :)

Once Ben Folds was done we moved in closer.  We got a better view of the stage, which was great!  Unfortunately my phone died and I didn't get any more pictures or videos of the Barenaked Ladies set.  But man, were they good.  They are so talented and their songs are just silly.  You just laugh when you watch them perform.  You laugh and sing and dance.  Is there anything better?

Sometimes I forget what live music does for me and how important it is to me.  I know that music can reach a person like nothing else, but live music?  Oh man.  It doesn't even need to be a song that I know or even a band that I'm familiar with.  Live music is just powerful.  The ear-piercing wail of an electric guitar being strummed for the first time that set, the bass drum that seems to beat through your own chest, the static, the chaos, the purity...  The feeling that I get while watching live music rivals only the feeling that I get from a roller coaster.  You know that feeling when you are strapped in and you are slowly clicking your way up an impossibly high ramp?  You're questioning your sanity {I AM GOING TO DIE} and you are wishing that you never sat in this little rickety car.  Your heart feels like it going to pound it's way straight out of your chest, or maybe out of your stomach - what is that awful feeling in your stomach?  You are terrified.  But oh man, it feels SO GOOD.  I love that feeling.  That's how I feel when I listen to live music.  It's excitement.  And joy.

Cotton candy mouths.

I watched my little girl feel that excitement and joy for the first time.  Oh, she loved it.  She didn't seem to get into Ben Folds Five much, she was still too excited about her cotton candy and her aunt Marilyn, but she sure loved the Barenaked Ladies.  When they sang "Gonna Walk", they included the crowd.  He would sing, "I'm gonna Walk" then we'd repeat.  "I won't quit."  Repeat.  "Until I get!"  Repeat.  {all together!}  "To the bottom of your heart!"  Ayla sang along at the top of her lungs.  After every line she belted out she would laugh.  A hearty, mouth-wide-open, laugh.  She clapped along with the beat.  She swayed.  She screamed after each song.  The first time she cupped her hands around her mouth and let out a "Woooo!" she looked at me hesitantly.  Her expression was cautious as if she wasn't sure she was allowed to yell.  I responded with the loudest "WOOOOO!" I could muster.  She laughed and squealed, "WOOOOO!"  I think that screaming after each song was one of her favorite things.  Also, singing "If I had a million dollars..."  She rocked that song.

And oh, Ayla.  One of her favorite things to say is "Chickety China the Chinese chicken!"  She heard that line of the song "One Week" at some point and has adopted this as a replacement for "I love you".  Really.  We do this thing where we say, "I gotta tell you a secret!"  Then you whisper, "I love you!"  She loves this game.  She plays it all the time.  Out of nowhere she started saying, "I've got a secret!"  Then she whispers, "Chickety China the Chinese chicken!" in your ear.  So you can imagine her joy when they sang that song.  The whole time I was amping her up for it.  I was like, "They're gonna say it, oh my goodness, it's almost your part!"  She was buzzing with excitement.  And finally they said it, "CHICKETY CHINA THE CHINESE CHICKEN!"  And then they said it again.  And again!  They said it three times!  If you know the song you know that they usually only say it once.  But oh boy, I love love love that they said it three times.  I love love love the squeal that escaped from Ayla after each time.  I love the way she laughed and the way that she bounced on my lap and clapped her hands.  I loved everything about this.

This was just another way for me to recharge.  It was quality time with my girl.  It was family time with aunt Marilyn.  It was fabulous music.  It was a great, great night.

The one thing that brought me down on the way out?  Some teenaged kids were making fun of a woman.  They were blatantly mimicking her dancing and her weight.  They were putting her down.  That brought me down.  A music show should be a place to escape real life.  To be free.  To have fun.  To dance!  No matter the dance moves.  No matter the way you look.  It made me sad for these kids to be mocking this woman who surely had the time of her life.  Why were they not discussing the awesome music or laughing about the goofy way that they let loose and danced in the aisles?  Why did they have to be tearing down an innocent, unknowing woman.  It made me wish that I had been next to her and that I had been dancing like an idiot with her.  Someday, perhaps when they've grown up a little, I hope that they can enjoy a show and let go and dance like fools and smile at the fool dancing in front of them and realize that we are in this together.  We're all fools trying to have a good time.

We had a good time.  It was better than good.  I am so glad that I got the chance to go on this spontaneous adventure with my girl.

What a day.  A terrific Thursday.

Letting Utah In.

 {These are thoughts I had on my drive to work this morning.}

I have lived in Utah since 2007.  I moved here to get away from the life I was currently living.  I wasn't happy.  I was in a rut.  I was in a terrible relationship.  I just needed to get away.

Utah seemed like the easiest place to run.  I had been there so many times to visit family.  I had friends who had already moved there for school.  Utah Valley was supposed to be super social and super awesome.

I got here and things didn't really turn around the way that I hoped they would.  In fact, I have spent the most difficult years of my life in Utah.

You know what I found out when I moved to Utah?  It is NOT Washington state.  It is nothing like it.  And I HATED Utah.

{Disclaimer:  I am going to share some of the opinions I developed about Utah, which may offend you if you are born and raised here.  Please do not take offense.  These opinions most likely have nothing to do with you.}

1. I thought Utah was hideous.  Everything looked dead.
2. The people.  Oh, the people.  They are self-centered.  I have never experienced so much selfishness.  All anyone cared about was themselves.  They are judgmental.  SO JUDGMENTAL. 
3. Not only are people self-centered and judgmental, but they are rude.  All of the sudden I experienced people honking car horns and flipping me off and cussing at me and throwing things out their window - all because I wasn't going 15 over the speed limit like everyone else.  Um... what?
4. I had family here, but it wasn't my immediate family and no one seemed to care that I was here anyway.  Not that I have gone out of my way to visit family, but I have never been invited to a family function.  Ever.  And still feeling like a child, I expected the adults to kind of take me in.  They didn't.  {Not true, Marilyn had me over for Thanksgiving dessert a few years ago, which I loved.  And I had Thanksgiving at Cindy's house once because my dad was in town.}
5. My friends didn't care that I was here either.  They had their own lives that apparently didn't have room for me.  People that I had known to love me and care about me back home suddenly wouldn't give me the time of day.  In fact, they still don't.  {It's not hard to respond to a message on Facebook or a text when I reach out to you.}

After coming to all of the conclusions listed above; I was miserable.  I HATED UTAH.

Why didn't I move home?  Why didn't I go back to where I was comfortable and where every view was breath-taking and where my friends who really cared were and where my mom and dad and brothers were and where people were nice and accepting and where I knew I belonged?

I was too proud.  I said that I was leaving, I was making this big move to find happiness and get out of my rut.  There was no way that I was going to turn around with my tail tucked between my legs and go home to my mom's house because I had no where else to go.  It wasn't going to happen.  I would rather cry myself to sleep at night with no friends and no money and being terribly unhappy then fail.

That seems so dramatic and I know people wouldn't have seen it as me "failing" the way that I did, but it was honestly how I felt.  I made my bed, I was going to sleep in it.  Even if it was the worst bed EVER.

Now, here I sit.  6 years deep in life as a Utahn.  The 5 hardest years of my life behind me.  I can adjust the list above a little bit.

1. Utah is beautiful.  It will never compare to my home state, nothing ever will.  But man, Utah has so much of it's own beauty to offer.  Every single day I marvel at the mountains that I am lucky to live under.  And the vast blue sky.  The sky that I used to resent because there weren't trees blocking my view.  It is gorgeous.  Utah has taught me the meaning of "purple mountain majesty" because only here have I actually seen purple mountains against a fiery orange and hot pink sky.
2. The people.  Oh, the people.  There are still some self-centered people around.  I have learned that those are generally the college students who are actually from all over the country and are still too young to care about anyone but themselves.  And yes, people are very judgmental.  That comes with the religious view that most people here are raised with.  And that's okay.  I am confident enough in my self and my decisions that I really don't care what people may have to say about me.
3. People are still rude.  I have gotten used to it.  But there are amazingly nice people as well.  They may not stick out as much as the rude people, but they are there.  The people who smile at the grocery store, the people who let you merge without flipping you off, etc. {hah}
4. I still don't really ever see family.  Ever.  But I do live far away.  And I have developed an awesome relationship with my cousin Bevany and my aunt Lisa.  Getting to know them and have friendships with them has meant everything to me.  And the family that I have now?  The one that I married in to?  They are better than I could have ever dreamed.  I love them and I love how much family means to them.  All of their family.  {But I still miss my own family back in Washington terribly.}
5. Friends.  Who needs the old ones anyway?  No, but really.  We have grown up and grown apart and we have different lives and that's fine.  I no longer expect friends to put forth any effort.  If I put forth an effort and they respond, that's awesome.  If they put forth an effort, it makes me feel great and I hope they know that I love and appreciate them.  There are still a special few who are around {and by around I mean socially connected!} and they are wonderful.  Plus, I have made new friends.  I have made a couple of friends here in Utah that I can't imagine not knowing.  I am so, so thankful for my close friends that I have made in Utah.  You know who you are.

 Through all of the struggles, all of the times that I thought life couldn't get any worse and I was stuck in UTAH, I really did find happiness.

If I would have moved to Utah I wouldn't have met this girl.

Carissa is a once-in-a-lifetime kind of a friend.  She's that "girlfriend you meet in college".  You know, the one that you never lose contact with but that you don't see enough?  That's her.  And though she has many friends in Utah, being a Nephi girl, I do not.  She is one of the best things about Utah.

If I hadn't have moved to Utah I wouldn't have Ayla.

The girl that made me a mama.  She is Utah, through and through.  She even has a bit of a Utah accent, which if you know me, kills me.  I can't imagine life without her and she is most definitely one of the best things {in the history of Utah} to come out of Utah.

And if I hadn't moved to Utah back in 2007 I wouldn't have met Kyle.  My husband.

This guy.  He's the one that ties me down to Utah.  He is my born and raised Utah boy.  He makes me never want to leave.  {Unless he's coming with me, I'm staying put.}  Ayla and I were broken and Kyle was the glue that put us back together.  He fixed us and made us a family.  Kyle represents all things good about Utah.  Absolutely one of the best things about Utah.

If I had never moved to Utah I wouldn't be a part of this.

I cannot believe I could have missed being a part of this.  One of the best things about Utah.

I think it's safe to say that going into 6 years of life in Utah, I am finally letting Utah in.  This is the first year that I have the allergies that everyone has always complained about.  This is the first year that I have been excited about a miserably hot summer.  This is the first year that I am excited about exploring canyons and camping and being outdoors in Utah.  This is the first year that I have been utterly and completely content, no, not just content - HAPPY in Utah.

I will always miss my home state.  Nowhere will ever beat the beauty.  Nowhere will ever make me feel the way that the PNW does.

But Utah makes me happy.  Utah has become a part of me.

'Cause everything it must belong somewhere
Just like the gold around her finger or the silver in his hair
Yeah, everything it must belong somewhere
I know that now, that's why I'm staying here
Oh I know that now, that's why I'm staying here

Picnic in the park {a quick recharge}

My dear friend Carissa and I make plans from time to time.  We plan and we reschedule and then we cancel and we reschedule.  So on and so forth.  It's what we do.  It works for us.  We go too long without catching up yet we always pick up right where we left off.

Today we met for lunch.  {This was only the 3rd time it had been scheduled, which is good for us.} We met halfway between our places of employment, which happens to be a nice little park on Center Street in Orem.

It's funny how sitting on a Tangled blanket in a park and eating our left-overs and drinking our canned sodas can be one of those recharging moments that I need so badly.

Sometimes you need to discuss your job, your life, your family, friends, and laugh with your dear friend for half an hour.

I always mean to take photos of Carissa or to take a photo of the two of us.  {We had no problem catching a photo between 2007 and 2009.}  Somehow I get too wrapped up in conversation and the next thing I know I am walking to my car and snapping a quick picture of the park.  The pretty green park where I was able to have a mini recharging session. 

We say that we're going to do this weekly.  That probably means we'll be lucky if it happens once a month and that is just fine with me.

Weekend Fun!

This weekend was jam-packed with so much fun!

Friday night Kyle and I had been planning on going bowling with Corinne and Brady.  We had been planning this for a couple of weeks and I was so excited!  Turns out, Friday there was an AWESOME deal for Cornbelly's Corn Maze at Thanksgiving Point.  Our tickets were $4 each rather than the regular $12!

Turns out, changing plans was the best thing EVER!

We met at the Sunflower Market where we were going to have some good ol' sloppy joes.  That didn't happen because the market decided to no longer do dinner.  So we went to Dickey's BBQ.  So fine with me, I absolutely love that place.  And I learned that they have a student discount!  Big BBQ sandwich, one side, and a drink for $4.99!  Amazing!

After dinner we headed over to Thanksgiving Point.  We were blown away by all the fun things there were to do!  It wasn't JUST a maze, there were so many great activities!  My favorite part was the room full of corn.  It was like a giant sandbox with corn kernels instead of sand.  See photos below!  :)

Kyle bought a mask before the date and wore it the whole drive to the market...

CUUUUUTE!

Corinne won the race!

ROOM FULL OF CORN!

CORN! WOO!

My love and I :)

So. Much. Corn.

We had the best time with Corinne and Brady, they are just about the nicest people you will ever meet!

Saturday Kyle and I went to Lagoon.  It was fantastic.  I haven't been for years, but oh man, I have no idea why I don't go every year!  We went on all the rides, saw the show, played some games (Ky won me a pink elephant!), and had good food and yummy ice cream!

The best part was spending time with Kyle :)

Sadly, I don't have a single picture because I lost my camera on the Wicked roller coaster.  Yup.  No more camera.  I also lost my cell phone that day but luckily it was recovered and not damaged at all!

Sunday was spent laying in bed watching conference and then joining Kyle's family for a yummy taco dinner!

I just love Kyle and can't even explain how much fun I have with him.  He makes me one happy girl!

Friendship.

Friends are important.  Friends, real friends, are not easy to find.  Especially in Utah.

I do not understand this place.  This is not a Utah-bashing thing, just a very honest observation... People here are selfish.  I have never met so many self-involved, detached, apathetic people.  It blows my mind because where I come from people care.  I'm pretty sure most people that I grew up associating with would give you the shirt off their back if you asked for it.  Or if you didn't ask they would still notice that you needed it and offer it up willingly.  Here in Utah I can't even make dinner plans with someone without it being pushed out two or three times and then eventually not happening.  And this isn't just one or two people.  This is pretty much everyone.

I've been here for about 4 years (holy cow, how did that happen?) and friends are something that I have struggled with.  I have felt very lonely in this desert state.  There are people everywhere.  Everyone is nice to your face.  There are lots of "we should hang out!" and "let's do this!" type comments, but never any follow-through.  I will tell you, this does nothing for one's health.  I have found myself, on many occasions, wondering why people here don't like me.  After speaking to people about this, it's not just me.  It's just a way of life here.  Do what you want, when you want, if someone else fits into that plan...perfect.  If not, no big deal, who needs friends?

Um.  I do.  I need friends.

June 2007- Rainbow Party (to rebel from wearing Starbucks black and green everyday)

I met Carissa in 2007.  She was a tiny little bird of a girl who got a job at Starbucks.  I had the pleasure of teaching her the tricks of the trade.  (You're welcome current Starbucks customers for training the best barista around!)  We hit it off instantly.  This girl was witty, sarcastic, hilarious, and just plain nice.  I am 4 years older than her.  We are very different but at the same time we click perfectly.

Halloween 2007.  Raggedy Ann and Snow White.

What do we do best?  Talk shit.  Excuse my language.  And by "talk shit" I mean sit for hours discussing life.  Boys, girls, clothes, big cities, careers, family, money... you name it.  We talk about it.  We talk and talk and talk.  And we are funny.  So sarcastic.  So honest.  Harsh at times.  Vulnerable.  We talk a lot.  Half the time I will be telling a story and she will be telling a story.  Simultaneously.  She doesn't respond about what I'm saying, I don't respond about what she's saying.  We just talk.  And I know she's listening.  She knows I'm listening.  No need to acknowledge what the other is saying.  I know that she's listening because the next time I see her is when she asks the follow-up questions.

Best Barista!

Sometimes life gets in the way and we'll go a couple weeks without seeing each other or even exchanging more than an "I just miss you" text message.  But when we finally get together it is perfect.  And I remember why she has become one of my very best friends.  A rare find here in Utah County.  A consistent, true friend.  Someone that I can call when I am having a bad day, or when I want to dance, or when I kiss a boy and I need to talk about it for over an hour, or when I feel like doing nothing but eating pizza wearing no makeup with messy hair and a child wearing nothing but a diaper... Someone to be the godmother to my baby.  Ayla adores Carissa.  Little bird already paints her nails, tells her embarrassing stories about me, and talks about when we're old sitting at a cafe drinking coffee getting ready to send a 20 year old Ayla off to Europe for a semester, and how she's prepared to deal with a child who rebels against me...she has advice ready.

Terrible dark picture... But this was yesterday, pizza night at Carissa's house!

I love her and I am thankful for the friendship that we have.  If nothing else good comes from my time here in Utah, I have found a life-long friend in Carissa Lee Fillmore.

June 2011.  Owl Bar, Sundance, UT