New Chapter.

I have made one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.  I'm leaving my job to be a full-time mother.

Now I know you can say, that's a no-brainer, your child is the most important thing, it's not a hard decision.  Or you may say, don't be old-fashioned, be a working woman, day care isn't a big deal.

I've thought about each side of the spectrum.  Thought about each side for hours.  Talked to Joseph for hours.  Talked to my mom.  It was a really hard decision for me.

Now before I go on, let me say that I love my daughter more than I thought I could ever love anything.

Having said that, my job has become a part of me.  The people I work with, the things I do every day.  It's become who I am.  It doesn't define me, but I take great pride in the fact that I do what I do SO WELL.

I have been very fortunate to have a generous boss who has become much more than that.  He's a great friend.  He really cares about Joseph, Ayla, and I.  I look forward to our daily conversations about furniture, jack in the box, shoes, people, you name it, we talk about it.

And then my co-workers... they're my FRIENDS!  I care so much about them.  I hate getting up in the morning, but I've never once been upset about going to work.  I look forward to it.

The work that I do!  I eat, sleep, drink, and breathe these accounts!  I can't sleep at night because I'm wondering if a specific install went in.  I wake up and check my emails in the middle of the night to see if I missed anything.  I can't wait to get into work and check that days installs that are scheduled to be going in.  It's like I get high on solving problems and having things go exactly the way they are supposed to.

I feel like I am losing a part of me and it's going to be so hard.  I couldn't even talk to Mark. I handed him my letter and burst into tears.  He was so good.  He gave me a hug and he told me that there was nothing wrong with the choice that I was making.  He said that being a mother is the most amazing job that one could do.  He told me that society today makes it seem like a negative thing to stay home with your children, but there is no shame in being a mother.  He said the team will miss me, but that he supports my decision.  After I stopped crying I was relieved.

It's official.  I get to spend my time - all my time - with her!

My beautiful Tiny girl.

She is perfect.

She is my world and I can't wait to giver her everything I have every day!

Here goes motherhood...