Friday, June 7, 2013

Insanity. {Here's to a healthy, happier, skinnier me!}

I am coming up on the 10 year anniversary of me graduating High School.  10 YEARS!  Saying that out loud makes me feel more old than anything else I can possibly say.  {Besides saying that on my next birthday I will be 29.  Let's not talk about that today.}

There have been many things about me that have changed the past 10 years.  My hair.  {approx. 30 times}  My taste in clothes.  My views on almost everything.  My friends.  My status.  My role in life.  {mama now!}  My name.  So many things.  But the biggest change?  That would be my weight.

When I graduated High School I was 5'7" and barely 118 lbs.  Obviously, I was skinny.  Incredibly skinny.  According to my height and frame the healthy weight for a 5'7" female is 133-147 lbs.  So yeah, I was skinny.  I had even had people seriously question me about eating disorders.  I assure you, the only eating disorder that I had was a problem with funyons and Krispy Kreme donuts.  You would never know that by looking at me.

February 2003.  18 years old.
Fast forward 10 years and I have gained way too much weight.  I mean, way.  Yes, I have had a child.  But that is no excuse.  Millions of women have had children and they are in fabulous shape.  No excuse.  AND I was overweight before I had my child!  I have roughly been the same weight {give or take 10-15 pound variance} for the past 5-6 years.  Heck, even when I was pregnant I only gained 23 pounds.  I have friends who gained 80 pounds and bounced right back to looking like a super model.

10 Years later.  September 2012.  {I won't even say how many pounds heavier.}

My problem is laziness.  I have never been a super active person.  I do not enjoy working out.  At all.  Physical activity is stupid.  If I am going to break a sweat, you can count me out.  No thanks.

I also love junk food.  I love greasy, deep-fried, sugar-coated, glazed, chocolately, fruity... you name it.  I love junk food.

When you combine the laziness and the love of junk food, you have a problem.  That problem is called BODY FAT.

I have been so sick of it, for so long.  I can't even tell you how many times I have laid in my bed crying because I am so unhappy with my physical appearance.  It's embarrassing.  I am done.  I am done being overweight.  I am done feeling bad about myself.  I am done hating my body.  When I was in High School I didn't have confidence issues.  I wasn't unhappy with my appearance.  I didn't even question what people were thinking about my body or my looks.  I was just fine.  I am not that way today.

The nice thing about weight {the only nice thing} is that you can lose it.  I can stop being lazy.  I can change my eating habits.  I can get healthy and I can lose weight.  I just need to stick with it.

That's the plan.  Stick with it.  Get healthy.  Lose weight.  BE HAPPY WITH MYSELF.

Kyle and I have started the workout program called Insanity.  It is just that.  Insane.  We are only 4 days in and I am SO INCREDIBLY SORE.

After Day 3.  What you can't see is the sweat running down my face.

I have been tracking everything I eat on an app called "My Fitness Pal".  This helps me stay on track with my daily calorie intake and it helps me think twice before having that piece of candy that I might be craving.

I am so hoping that I will be able to stick with it this time.  I want to be healthy and I want to be happy.  I want my husband to be proud of me and how I look.  {Not that he isn't, he has never said that he isn't happy with me or my looks.  FYI.}  I want to be confident.  I want it now.  I know it won't happen overnight.  It's going to take a lot of hard work and a lot of dedication and determination.  But gosh dang it, I CAN DO IT!

Here's to a healthier, happier, skinnier me!  CHEERS!  Xoxo

{JUST SO WE'RE ALL CLEAR:  I am not trying to get back to my 18-year-old weight.  118 pounds is not my goal.  I realize that I am a grown woman now and I do not expect to look like a teenager.  My goal is to be at a HEALTHY weight.  Healthy, healthy, healthy!}


  1. You are such a beautiful Momma! I'm for whatever makes you feel better about yourself. I'm proud of you for seeing that you want a change and doing something about it! You're a great example to Ayla. I'll be cheering you on! Love ya, lady.

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  3. Awesoma Tonja! I am so proud of your goals, HEALTHY is the BEST! And even when you hate working out, you always feel better about yourself once it's over with. Even if you aren't seeing dramatic changes. Keep up the work, you seem to be in the perfect mindset!

    After insanity for a few weeks we can go running/walking together with the dog or something?! I need to get back into it as well and refuse to go to the gym.

    1. Heck yes we can go on walks with the dog! I would love that! We should plan that for sure! You and Brent should come on some of our trips up the canyons with our friends and their lab. :)

  4. You summed up what I've felt like, plus 20 years. This is a major reason for my hiking and biking. I have to keep moving for my emotional and physical being. If it weren't so late, I'd be writing more. I've got a bike ride tomorrow... Setting goals has been a push for me. Progress is slow, but it is progress. I am proud of you. Healthy is the goal: physical and mental health. I love you. Keep moving and making good food choices. I know that you can do it!

    1. Thanks mom! It's really difficult to keep at it, but I think once I start seeing results it will be just a little bit easier. You're a good example to me with all of the great outdoor activities that you do. Love you!

  5. Props to you m'dear!! You can do it :)